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i can see you reach for something. it might be someone. it might be me. but i won’t come any closer. i will let you drown. i will stand here and watch.
i lower my eyes and suffer. without moving i will watch you get weak, and quiet, and slowly die. i suffer with you, and for you
i can see the terror in your eyes, pale and desperate, your hands cramped. and yet, you don’t scream. you don’t call for help. maybe you know that i won’t help you. maybe you sacrifice your life for me.
i lower my eyes and suffer. without moving i will watch you get weak, and quiet, and slowly die. i suffer with you, and for you
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home
07:07
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everything comes back. everything. the weight, the breathlessness, the pain and the beauty. everything looks, sounds, smells and feels different. everything becomes grand and vast, the sounds seem far away. the will to let the sadness back in. the wish to suffer. the wish to cry. lonely, depressed, broken. Welcome back. Welcome home.
the relief, the fresh air, the sunshine ,the beauty and the tears. she told me she would take me into her arms, push my head against her chest. she promised me she wouldn't forget me, and that she would be there when i return. well now i am back. i can feel her presence, i can smell her. it’s like something is gently caressing my heart. it must be her. i breathe in the air. the wish to suffer. the wish to cry. lonely, depressed, broken. Welcome back. Welcome home.
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rising dark
12:35
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let the dark rise. let the trees wither and the animals rot. let all life die for death shall bring solace. let the tortured souls rest. the terror will take your hand. dead bodies wash up the shore. you'll march through bones and blood. dried vomit on your coat. this is our journey. and you'll be alone. fear does not matter, sympathy is obsolete. from inside ourselves we shall feel it. the rotten flesh, the decay, death.
a violent farewell, an act of pure violence, a storm of blood and decay. everything dies tonight. we shall feed on the grief. we will rip our chests open and throw our lives away. with our last breath, with a last glimpse, we shall discover greatness.
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